It’s been raining for almost forty-eight hours straight. The floor is cold, much like the skin of my couch where I am parked writing this. Lifting my eyes to admire the wet city beyond my window – I can’t see the rain but I can hear her dance. It’s at least 24 degrees Celsius outside, with the north-easterly wind taking it down a couple of notches more. The perfect setting to catch some Zs. I imagine most of my neighbourhood curling up in bed. I usually end up so, (especially after a good dinner) on a chilly Sunday night as such. Obviously I am not comatose. Something is different this moment.
The West Wing Season One, disc 6, is spinning in the Playstation 3. There’s this scene where Leo McGarry had an explosive discourse with President Bartlet. The latter was reading Mandy’s damaging memo about the administration, which was now in press circulation. He reads about a portion which implies the degenerating performance of the current White House is caused by Leo’s innocuous policies and guarded stance. Jed proceeds to assure Leo he disagrees with that statement, “It’s says here you drive me to the center. That’s not true.”
Leo said, “No sir, you drive me to center.”
It led into how Jed has been straddling neutral, dangling their feet in the water, backing down from the fights. Leo got him to see history right and urges him to lead and unleash men who showed up to lead, willing to walk into fire, waiting for the battle horn. Then Leo, as White House Chief of Staff, summons his senior staff, “If we’re gonna walk into walls, I want us running into them.
The water is cold and it is impossible to see what’s out there. Gazing from this height is paralysing, because the bleak consolation of such a fall is little feeling for the numbing waters before one final loss. But. If I want to fly. I got to leap. To ransom my passion.
A new chapter is beginning. I am thirty three.